What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.