Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.