How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.