Jokes > Tags > Shall Jokes

Shall Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
Baseball Puns
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Pumpkin Puns
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Sun Puns
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Funny Poems
There once was a girl named Sue.
She came down with the case of the flu.
She let out a sigh,
"My temperature is high,
what ever shall I do?
Oh my! Oh my!
I think I will die.
What ever shall I do?"

So, she stumbled out of bed.
"I know I'll take some meds.
If this the flu,
I take an aspirin or two.
Then I'll drink some broth and some juice.
Oh my! Oh my!"
she began to cry.
"I think this is acute."

So, she grumbled back to bed
and pulled the covers over her head.
She let out a sneeze,
a cough and a wheeze.
"Won't someone help me, please?
Oh my! Oh my!
Will I survive
the case of the crazy flu?"

So, she finally fell asleep.
She slept and slept for a week.
She tossed and turned,
her symptoms have passed.
Her temperature normal at last.
"Oh my! Oh my!
I think I survived
this case of the crazy flu."
Dog Puns
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
One Liners and Short Jokes
Genie: "I shall grant you 3 wishes."

Me: "I wish for a world without lawyers."

Genie: "Done, you have no more wishes."

Me: "But you said I had 3!"

Genie: "Sue me."
Unicorn Puns
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Toaster Puns
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Funny Money Quotes
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
Vegetable Puns
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Funny Limericks
There once was a lady from Guam
who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I shall swim in the dark!"
She encountered a shark.
Let us all sing the Twenty-Third Psalm.