Pull Jokes

“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
In case of an emergency, pull down the zipper on my pants.
The Dentist and the Viagra
The other day, a gentleman went to the Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way! No needles! I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I can't do the gas thing either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!" The Dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection", the man said. "I'm fine with pills". The Dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet". The gentleman, totally at a loss for words, said in amazement, "WOW, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't", said the Dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
Your smile must be a black hole. Nothing can escape its pull.
I’m like planet Neptune. I’m attracted to the gravitational pull from Uranus since it is so big, and I cannot lie.
Is it a full moon? Because I feel a tidal pull toward your heavenly body.
Do you also feel the strong gravitational pull of my bed?
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair?