Held Jokes

What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
There was an Old Man at a casement,
Who held up his hands in amazement;
When they said, 'Sir, you'll fall!'
He replied, 'Not at all!'
That incipient Old Man at a casement.
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkable fat cur;
His gait and his waddle
Were held as a model
To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
I work at an Ink company in Spain. Yesterday I held a Competition about our company’s history. But looks like no one wanted to be a part of the
Spanish Ink Quiz Session.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
"If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you."
Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
I just held a huge Thor party for my son's 5th birthday.
He got overwhelmed because I guess he wanted something a little more Loki.