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Families Jokes

One Liners and Short Jokes
Alcohol is a perfect solvent
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
Funny Animal Quotes
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
Chicken Puns
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Soccer Puns
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Thanksgiving Jokes
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
Deer Puns
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Monster Puns
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Dinosaur Puns
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Friendship Quotes
"The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families."
— Jay McInerney