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Candle Jokes

Lamp Puns
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Knight Puns
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Birthday Jokes
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!
Christian Pick Up Lines
Are you sitting on a candle? Because your booty is on fire.
Funny Birthday Poems
Another candle on your cake?
Well, that's no cause to pout.
Be glad that you have strength enough
To blow the d*** thing out.
Deodorant Puns
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
Birthday Puns
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
Corona Virus Jokes
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Witch Puns
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Food Poems
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.

(Joanna Davis)
The Priest and the Candle
Mrs Rosy Jones was going to the market in New York where she happened to meet Father Patrick..... Father: "Hey, you are Rosy right? I got you married in New Jersey, when I was posted there". "Yes Father" Says Rosy. "How is your husband and the little ones ?" "Husband is fine but so far, no children". Father Patrick: "Don't worry, child. I'm going to Rome next week. I will light a candle for you there." "Thank you, Father Patrick." After some years, Father Patrick happens to meet Rosy again. "Hello Rosy, how's everything? Did you have any kids?" "Yes Father. I have three sets of twins and two singles. Total 8 kids". "Wow! Where is your husband?" "Oh, he's gone to Rome all of a sudden... Said something about blowing off some candle."
Mouse Puns
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Funny Animal Quotes
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
Halloween Pick Up Lines
If you were a jack-o'-lantern, I'd totally light your candle.