What is red, white, and blue over winter break?
A sad candy cane.
What did the pig say on a hot summer’s day?
I’m bacon!
What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?
“It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
Life is way better in sandals, and that's one opinion that I will never flip-flop on.
What did the man say after spending hours skiing?
"I'm starving, can I avalanche?"
Does anything come after April A?
May B!
What do you call a dollar bill frozen in ice?
Cold, hard cash!
I like you a latte.
I’m browsing the winter-net.
The baker taught his apprentice that to make a good pie one needs to bake it to pie-fection!
After a long March, April always puts a little spring in my step.
This autumn, the garden told the mower to leaf him alone in peace.
What’s the biggest difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool’s Day?
On one you’re thankful but on the other you’re prankful.
We got a huge jack-o-lantern this fall. It gave the neighbors pumpkin to talk about.
Why is spring a great time to start a gardening business?
Because it’s the season when you can really rake in the cash.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
The aspiring comedian has an unbe-leaf-able collection of autumn jokes, but they are all falling flat.
What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?
“Alp!”
Variety is the ice of life.
Reading whilst sunbathing? You must be well-red!
Dear Winter — I'm breaking up with you. Summer is hotter than you.
Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
The best way to get back at someone is to push them in the snow; after all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
What do you say when you want to break the ice with someone?
Ice to meet you!
What do you call a bully on Halloween? A jerk-o-lantern.
Who’s at the door?
It’s snowbody.
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he likes cool music...
What do you call the Halloween costume contest winner? Mummy of the year.
Snow joke, the weather is horrible today!
How excited was the gardener about spring?
So excited he wet his plants.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did summer say to spring?
Help – I’m about to fall!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
I beacha miss summer already!
What dog particularly enjoys the sight of flowers on the ground? A spring-er spaniel.
We’re traveling winter-nationally.
I was cracking some lame fall puns when my friend commented, "Gosh, you are acorny person!"
How do you know flowers are friendly?
They always have new buds!
What can you find in the middle of April and March but not at the beginning or end of either?
The letter R!
It is October and there are still leaves on trees. I am very corn-fused!
What month always asks questions and permission?
May!
It’s a winterful day!