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Funny Family Quotes
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
Sibling Puns
A lot of people can't understand why Daniel Day Lewis's twin brother Daniel Night Lewis didn't make it in the movies.
That's because the difference between them is night and day.
Food Quotes
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
Funny Animal Poems For Kids
"The Crocodile"

How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!
How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws!

– Lewis Carroll
"Tom Tigercat"

Tom Tigercat is noted
for his manners and his wit.
He wouldn’t think of lion,
No, he doesn’t cheetah bit.

Tom never pretended
to be something that he’s not.
I guess that’s why we like him
and why he likes ocelot.

– J. Patrick Lewis
Funny Marriage Quotes
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
Funny Winter Quotes
“Winter is not a season, it’s an occupation.” — Sinclair Lewis
Friendship Quotes
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
Good Morning Quotes
"I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
— Lewis Black
Funny Love Quotes
"When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life."

- Richard Lewis
Funny Aging Quotes
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
(Lewis Carroll)
Funny Health Quotes
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
Tax Quotes
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
The Dirty Blinds
A man foolishly asks his wife why she keeps staring out of the window. Taking a very deep breath she replies "I'm really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown's blinds. Mrs Perkin's aren't much better. And that Mrs Lewis- scruffy cow. Look at them- filthy. They're just not house proud like me. Dirty blinds are such an eyesore. If you were a real man you'd go over and get them to do something about it. In fact, you must- for I won't stand for it any longer." "I'll tell you what," says the man as he peers through the window beside her; "I'll see what I can do." The following morning, she approaches him, beaming. "I can't believe it. The blinds. They're all immaculate. What did you say to them?" "Nothing." he says "I just cleaned the window."