fog Jokes

I tried to catch the fog.

But I mist.

What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew

Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.

I’ve never understood fog machines.

They mystify me to this day.

I tried playing baseball in the fog today.

It was a bit hit and mist.

What do you call a negative fog?

A pessimist.

What’s a bigamist?

It’s what Italians call a thick fog.

Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.

What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.

There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.

I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.

What did one cloud of fog say to the other?

I don’t know. It’s a mistery.

I thought I saw some fog yesterday.

But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.

My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.

I’m optimistic!

What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.

But it’s actually a common mist-conception.

A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.

He must belong to an extreme mist organization.

I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.

Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.

My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.

"Night Noises"

My parents' bedroom is far from mine, so I have to wonder
What the noise is every night that sounds a lot like thunder.
We don't live near the seashore, but almost every morn
I'm wakened by a noise that sounds like a fog horn.

It's louder than the sound of barking dogs at night
Or a fireworks explosion that lights the sky real bright.
A chainsaw cutting logs doesn't make as much din,
Nor did the wall coming down way over in Berlin.

A jet plane at takeoff will get your attention quick,
As will a jackhammer engaged in busting up some brick.
But neither equals the clamor from Mom and Dad's bedroom,
Worse than a stack of dynamite at the moment of KABOOM!

At last I figured out the source of all the raucous roaring.
It was only good old Dad engaging in some snoring
Mom says: "I don't mind; it's really a Godsend
That all that wind isn't coming out the other end."

– Alan Balter

My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.

Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.

You’re so hot you make my lab goggles fog up.

Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.

You brighten up my day just like the anti-fog spray for my goggles.

Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.

"Night Noises"

My parents' bedroom is far from mine, so I have to wonder
What the noise is every night that sounds a lot like thunder.
We don't live near the seashore, but almost every morn
I'm wakened by a noise that sounds like a fog horn.

It's louder than the sound of barking dogs at night
Or a fireworks explosion that lights the sky real bright.
A chainsaw cutting logs doesn't make as much din,
Nor did the wall coming down way over in Berlin.

A jet plane at takeoff will get your attention quick,
As will a jackhammer engaged in busting up some brick.
But neither equals the clamor from Mom and Dad's bedroom,
Worse than a stack of dynamite at the moment of KABOOM!

At last, I figured out the source of all the raucous roaring.
It was only good old Dad engaging in some snoring
Mom says: "I don't mind; it's really a Godsend
That all that wind isn't coming out the other end."

– Alan Balter

My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”

What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!