What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
You seem a little mer-mad.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Fairies just spell trouble.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
You mermaid to go far.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.