What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Long time no sea.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
I think you're mer-mazing.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Seas the day!
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
Wish upon a starfish.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.