Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Seas the day!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Don't fork-get your manners.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Go big or go gnome.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Wish upon a starfish.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Long time no sea.
Fairies just spell trouble.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Shes a fairy realistic person.