Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
You really mermaid my day.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Seas the day!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
I love you so fairy much.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
You are shrimply the best!
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.