Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!

Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.

What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.

The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."

Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"

Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!

Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!

What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.

What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.

Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.

Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.

Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.

They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.

What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.

What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!

How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!

What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!

What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.

What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.

How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.

Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.

Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?

Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.

Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"

I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.

Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.

Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.

Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.

Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.

What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.

You are shrimply the best!

Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.

Fairies just spell trouble.

The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.

What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.

Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!

Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.

Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.

Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!

What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.

What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.

I think you're mer-mazing.

What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.