Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Seas the day!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
You really mermaid my day.
You mermaid to go far.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Call me on the shellphone.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.