Fairies just wand to have fun.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Long time no sea.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Go big or go gnome.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Seas the day!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
You mermaid to go far.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.