We were mermaid for each other.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.