What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
You are shrimply the best!
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
You really mermaid my day.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Don't fork-get your manners.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
I think you're mer-mazing.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
You mermake me happy.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
You seem a little mer-mad.
Seas the day!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."