What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!

After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.

You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.

Long time no sea.

"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.

What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.

For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.

Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.

Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.

Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.

"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."

Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.

Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.

The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."

Fairies just wand to have fun.

When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.

Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.

What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!

Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.

What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.

Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?

Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.

Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!

I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!

Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!

You are shrimply the best!

Call me on the shellphone.

What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.

What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.

Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.

No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.

Don't fork-get your manners.

Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?

We were mermaid for each other.

Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!

What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.

Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!

Shes a fairy realistic person.

One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"

What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.

What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.

All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!

Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.

What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”

Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.

Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.