Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
You mermaid to go far.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
You mermake me happy.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Shell-abrate the good times!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Don't fork-get your manners.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Call me on the shellphone.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.