What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
You really mermaid my day.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Shell-abrate the good times!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.