Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Fairies just spell trouble.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Call me on the shellphone.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
We were mermaid for each other.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Seas the day!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
You really mermaid my day.