Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?

How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!

What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!

What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!

Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.

What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!

Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.

Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.

What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."

What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.

What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.

How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!

If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.

What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.

Mermaids always drink mermosas.

Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.

All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!

The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.

Wish upon a starfish.

Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"

Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.

Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!

Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.

What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!

Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!

What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.

When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.

Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.

Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.

What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."

Seas the day!

When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.

What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”

What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.

Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.

What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!

What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.

I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.

Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.

Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.

it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.

Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.

Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.

What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.

What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!

What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”

Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

Fairies just wand to have fun.

Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.