Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Call me on the shellphone.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Wish upon a starfish.