What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
You mermake me happy.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.