What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
We were mermaid for each other.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
You mermake me happy.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”