Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.

What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!

You mermaid to go far.

What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!

Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.

Wish upon a starfish.

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.

Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."

Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.

I think you're mer-mazing.

Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.

Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.

You seem a little mer-mad.

Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.

Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.

What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!

Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.

What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”

A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.

Just hangin' with my gnomies.

Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?

Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.

Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).

I love you so fairy much.

What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.

What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.

Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.

What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.

What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.

Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.