What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Go big or go gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
You mermake me happy.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Call me on the shellphone.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Seas the day!