I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.