What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.