My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
Distill my beating heart.
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
You are pitcher perfect.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
Drink happy thoughts.
"Having a good hare day."
Irish you a whole pot of gold!
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
Sometimes you have to green and bear it.
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
"I'm eggs-hausted."
I’m feelin’ pine.
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
"You crack me up."
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
I can heartly wait to see you.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
Is this a science class? Because we have great chemistry.
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
You’re the queen of my heart.
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
My love for you simply radiates.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
What genre of music do elves love to listen to? Wrap.
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
It's lit.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A Christmas Quacker.
I am fawn’d of you my deer.
"There's no bunny like you."
I’m so lepre-gone right now.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
I sulfur when you argon.
Burst into cheers!
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
Happy Valentine's day.
Such a Lovely day.
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
You snooze. You booze.