Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
How rude-olf of you.
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
You’re brew-tiful!
"No eggs-cuses."
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
Irish puns are the most O'ffensive.
"You round me out." — High Card Band
Birch, please.
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
"Just don't carrot all."
"There's no bunny like you."
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
“Remember: don’t eat the yellow snow.”
I wood never leaf you.
We make a great pear
“Oh, deer! Christmas is here!”
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
I only have ice for you.
Dublin’ the fun.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
Take a pitcher. It'll last longer.
What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into the fireplace? Krisp Kringle.
“Look out for Santa Paws!”
Snow thank you.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
Our love started with a Hershey’s Kiss.
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
I fence-y you.
Irish I may, Irish I might.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
“Feliz navi-dog!”
You snooze. You booze.
"Your kisses are to dye for."
Yule be sorry.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
What has 34 legs, 9 heads and 2 arms? Santa Claus and his reindeer.
Get clover it, babe.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
Your presents is requested.
"You're poaching all my best yolks."