This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
It's ice to meet you.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
Paddy like a rockstar.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
“Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.”
"I have so many egg puns, it's not even bunny."
Who’s ready to party their shamrocks off?
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
I’ll never fir-get.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
You can donate blood to me anytime since you’re just my type.
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
"That's all, yolks."
I told you snow.
"I would hop to the end of the world for you."
I have the final sleigh.
Why shouldn't you mess with Santa? Because he has a black belt.
Are you an alien? Because I believe you’ve abducted my heart.
"Have an egg-cellent Easter."
Life is brew-tiful!
What do you call a party for snowmen? A snowball.
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
I'm pine-ing for you.
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
We’re in a-green-ment.
"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
Burst into cheers!
I just want to say, “I love brew.”
Birch, please.
I've been thinking of U periodically.
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
We’ve made a jig mistake, don’t you a-green?
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
Can’t pinch this.
Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope your day starts off with a bang!
What’s the best dessert to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy cake!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
As it snow happens.
Saw what I thought was a large dog coloring Easter eggs.
Turned out to be a dyer wolf.