I’m so lepre-gone right now.
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
Treat yo'elf.
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
It's ice to meet you.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
I just want to say, “I love brew.”
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Easter is grammatically incorrect.
We should say more east.
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
What do you call someone who's obsessed with Christmas? Santa-mental.
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
"For peep's sake."
St. Patrick’s Day makes me Spring to life.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
"We found eggs in a hopeless place."
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Say it ain’t snow.
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Egg ercise.
Beer-lieve it or not!
Can’t pinch this.
What did one ornament say to another? I like hanging with you.
What do you call a party for snowmen? A snowball.
I fence-y you.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
"Hey there, hop stuff."
That look soots you.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy
Are you an alien? Because I believe you’ve abducted my heart.
I call the shots.
"Just don't carrot all."
Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure
Eggs marks the spot.
“Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.”
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
Snow thank you.
You better beer-live it!
Wear green, or leaf.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
You’re the queen of my heart.
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
Distill my beating heart.
I love you dairy much.