"No eggs-cuses."
"You're a real good egg."
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
Take a pitcher. It'll last longer.
You snooze. You booze.
These decorations are tree-mendous.
"You make me egg-static."
Best in snow.
Don’t give into beer pressure.
"Oh, I wanna dance with some bunny, with some bunny who loves me."
"Happy eggster."
I'm snow bored.
What did one ornament say to another? I like hanging with you.
You’re my lucky charm.
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
Make it rein.
I think you’re dandelion.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
It’s worth a shot.
Sleigh, what?!
If it ain’t brogue, don’t fix it.
Dublin’ the fun.
"Beat it." — Michael Jackson, "Beat It"
You are un-beer-lievable!
“Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve? They’re calling for rain, dear!”
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
We like to paddy.
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
Keep calm and leprech-on.
Easter dinner was great today
We made sure it had all the crucifixins'.
Why shouldn't you mess with Santa? Because he has a black belt.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
I'd catalog you with the cookbooks because you look delicious.
“Remember: don’t eat the yellow snow.”
Say it ain’t snow.
Birch, please.
What is the Easter Bunny's favorite drinking game?
Hop Scotch.
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
We make a great pear
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
"Hey there, hop stuff."
"You can't beat me."
Snow thank you.
To beer or not to beer… That is the question.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.