What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
We have great chemis-tree.
“Look out for Santa Paws!”
"Egg-ceedingly good, wouldn't you say?"
“I love when candy canes are in mint condition.”
I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
“Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
Snow thank you.
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
"You can't beat me."
"Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
It takes one to snow one.
Say it ain’t snow.
I sulfur when you argon.
"You make me egg-static."
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
You have me greening from ear to ear.
"Some bunny loves you."
What has 34 legs, 9 heads and 2 arms? Santa Claus and his reindeer.
Keep calm and leprech-on.
Who’s your paddy?
“Bah-Hum-Pug.”
"For peep's sake."
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells, jungle bells…
What is the Easter Bunny's favorite drinking game?
Hop Scotch.
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
I fence-y you.
Dublin’ the fun.
Easter dinner was great today
We made sure it had all the crucifixins'.
I find you very a-peeling.
You have a pizza my heart.
Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
Your name must be Summer because you are hot.
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
I’m elf-taught.
Getting lucked up on St. Patrick’s Day.
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
Deja brew all over again.
I went to an Easter party as a Jesus cosplayer
I told them I was a crossplayer.
"Just looking on the sunny side."
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
You sleigh me.
What did one lightbulb say to the other lightbulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.