Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Egg ercise.
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
You must be glue because I am sticking with you.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
I’m feelin’ pine.
You snow the drill.
"Having a good hare day."
"Have a hoppy Easter."
Burst into cheers!
"I'm an Easter eggs-pert."
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
Shamrocks and shenanigans for all!
What do you call an elf who runs away from Santa's Workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
What did one ornament say to another? I like hanging with you.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
I think I found my perfect match
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
"We found eggs in a hopeless place."
Beer-lieve it or not!
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
The pint’s the limit.
It takes one to snow one.
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
It’s snow joke.
I’m not lion when I say you’re my mane.
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
We are looking pitcher-perfect.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.
I’m so lepre-gone right now.
Be careful this Easter
There is a lot of basket cases out there.
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
Let’s take an elfie.
What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
“Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
I went to an Easter party as a Jesus cosplayer
I told them I was a crossplayer.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
Who’s ready to party their shamrocks off?
We have great chemis-tree.
My love for you simply radiates.
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
I just want to say, “I love brew.”
How rude-olf of you.