Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial