Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.