What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.