The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!