These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!