What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.