I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.