Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.