What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.