What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.