My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.