Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.