I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.