What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball