What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.