My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.