A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline