How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.