Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
French, French Revolution
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.