So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.