Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Can I be Candide with you?
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.