If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.