I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.