What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.