What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!