Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.