What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.