What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.