I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.