A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.