What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
Girls just wanna have sun.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr