Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.