They

I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
My neighbours listen to terrific music... Whether they like it or not.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
You're so ugly when your wife takes you to the beach they ask her what she used for bait.
You're so ugly in your family album they only keep the negatives.