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St

There once was a man from St. Lou

Who gave his dear sister a screw.

He said with aplomb:

"You're better than Mom."

Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are molesters, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.

"AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
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